I feel sick and dying but at the same time I feel fine but I just don't know what to do to keep my mood constant anymore I go from being happy to being depressed to being content to being hopeless and the slightest thing can change it.
shopping is always such a drag lately. you try to act above it, you really try, and it just doesn't work sometimes. I'm always there for my friends when they feel shitty about themselves but how can it be honest when I don't even feel that great about MYself, I hate myself and the way I look I always have, I can't fool myself anymore.
oh internet, you're getting quite the load of teen angst.
okay, fine. I apologize, but seriously.

also, how hard is it to buy a copy of Mean Girls in this town? I was in zellers, and I bought a DVD at the entertainment centre, or whatever that lil' section is called, and this older woman storms in and is like "IS THERE ANYMORE OF THIS? HUH?" holding a large package of toilet paper, obviously trying to find a deal she found in this weeks flier. the poor cashier, she was so nice, and told her to check the end of the aisle but she thought it was all sold out, and that woman gave the most evil glare I have ever seen in a middle aged, overweight woman eyes. She didn't deserve that, none of us deserved that. Working in the service industry is horrible and desensitizing. I couldn't look in the CD store for the dvd I wanted, Attractive CD Store guy was skulking about in there, and I felt so sorry for myself and just lost all the usual confidence I have when I see ACDSG.

I bought a necklace. I already have my formal dress for this year. It's honestly the cutest dress I have ever, ever worn. Lets hope there's no repeat of next year, where in the span of one week I find out I'm forced to go, forced to find a dress, forced to find all this money, I didn't have a hair appointment or anything, I felt so underdressed and horrific.

Have you ever stared at a big bin of bargain DVDs, ones you've never heard before, horrible covers and names, ones sold for 2.99, have you ever looked at those and wondered if the best movie you could ever watch is in there? Have you ever looked at a pile of DVDs, looked at the little tags that are on the front, that tell you the price, then think of how many the store must has to print annually? How many trees it takes, how much glue? I do all the time.