I can't stop thinking about someone. and it's not the usual someone. isn't that slightly.. odd? am I over the usual someone? oh, most definately not. it still hurts my chest everytime I think about him. but I guess I'm glad I have some sort of a distraction. maybe this distraction will cause my usual someone some sort of jealously. now I just feel like a witch, but maybe I just crave attention from the usual someone, that I just don't care what form it comes in. it's the worst feeling in the world, being possessed by undying love for someone. unrequited love, the most painful feeling in the world, well one of them anyway. I wonder when he's coming home for christmas holidays. I wonder if he'll talk to me. I wonder if he'll want to see me. I wonder if I'll apologize to him. I wonder if I will ever see a day where I can stop thinking about him.

Id love to feel your hand touching mine
And tell me why I must keep working on
Yes, Id give my life to lay my head tonight
On a bed of california stars

Id like to dream my troubles all away
On a bed of california stars
Jump up from my starbed and make another day
Underneath my california stars