when I am asked, 'are you a jealous person?' I always say yes. what's the point in lying?

it's true, I consider myself to be filled with jealousy, and I can be easily angered by my desire to have what someone else does. I hate it, but what can be done. even if I don't act out on it, which I rarely do, the emotion is still there and I just wish there is a cure for it, an antidote. I went shopping out of town today, and one thing I hate about going to a slightly bigger town to shop and look around, is that I'm always surrounded by people that wear better clothes, look better, are skinnier, etc. Here in my own town, seeing people like this does not bother me, and I just can't wrap my head around the fact that it always bothers me when I'm somewhere else other than here. I just can't make a hypothesis. I saw a girl with the hair cut I always wanted, stick thin with a jacket that had a huge Velvet Underground patch on the back. She pulled off a style that I never could, and it made me momentarily sad, but one thing that I like about jealousy more than other common emotions that I have, that it's so easy to get over. You can always bounce back, unless the thing you want most but don't have is constantly thrown into your face. That's a little harder to ignore, and thank god I don't have to deal with much of that lately.

I always love the feeling you get when you buy a really cool shirt though, especially one that looks great on you. the first couple times you wear it always makes you feel so wicked fine. I like feeling wicked fine. maybe I just am wicked fine.