I worked this morning, and I haven't worked in quite some time, for obvious reasons. but, it was strange, I felt semi glad to be back. It made me realize, if I didn't have my job, then what else would I do?
Think about it, a job changes your life, and for the better. You have money, which means freedom. No asking others for your pocket change, and that money can be spent any way you like. It's liberating, and it makes me feel grown up. I like it so much that I buy my own shampoo, sometimes my own groceries. Call me crazy, but I love the feeling. Working itself isn't so great, in fact some days it can be equivelent to drilling a hole right through to the other side of your head, but this just makes your days off so, so much sweeter. Before I had my part time job, everyday was sitting around the house day. Now, that I am an employed individual, on days off I still sit around the house, yes, but I am no longer bored, and I now feel that my laziness was hard earned.
Today went by so quickly. I served customers with a big smile, did what I was told, as quickly as efficiently as possible. When four o'clock came, I wondered 'what? why is it 4 already?' well, I can't answer that. I can't answer that at all, but I'm thankful that I wasn't tired and so down spirited as usual. Maybe I finally realized that no matter what I do in life now, there's no looking back, I will always be working hard. When I first came to terms with this months ago, it scared me. I will always either be working, or doing school work. Days off will become fewer and fewer; I didn't like this. It made me feel like I was stuck, and there was no turning back. I will never have those days of play and recess again, but now, I honestly could not care. I am now a respectable part of society, paying my dues and working hard.
It's a good feeling. Sort of.
Pouring coffee sure does beat writing essays.

Have you ever tried to go to sleep at night, but just couldn't, because you were too busy dissecting a conversation you had with someone only hours before? That was me, last night. I'd feel dreams drift towards me, but instead of chasing after them and falling deep into dark, beautiful slumber, I'd wake myself, just to think more about him. I swear, I swear to god. There are only two options. I will either a) get over him, someday in the near future. I will realize he is not as great as previously believed (which, right now seems quite impossible, but it could happen) or b) I will make him fall in love me. This will happen. I will get older, I will get skinnier and prettier, I will become more sophisticated and more knowledgeable, and he will realize this. There are no other options. There are no other options. There are no other options.

one more thing; my tooth hurts like a motherfucking cunt bitch fuck.